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I've never been married but I lived with a girl for a couple years who was aware of my bondage fetish.
In fact, the reason we get together was that she was into the same stuff, although not nearly to the same degree.
I guess if that's the ONLY way you can get off, then it could become an issue.
I don't fantasize about killing or maiming people as a sexual thing. That same part of me recognizes that a woman can be tortured by whipping her breasts without damaging her more than a scrape on her knee (as long as there is a degree of consensuality so she's not traumatized in ways that DON'T heal).
I mean, who hasn't been ignored, been humiliated by or been flat out rejected by the pretty girl in school?
A lot of guys (and not just the ones who have the fetish) don't have the social skills that endear them to women, and they go their whole lives never learning what it takes to attract them.
Hence I can take a few stills out of a video or comic that express sexual suffering in a compelling person in the position of being stretched, and respond to them.
The image attached, for example, is a very powerful one--but the video from which it comes is not.
One of the keys, I believe, to healthy gimp is how necessary it is.
For most of us, though, there's an ability to recognize the difference between what happens inside our heads and in the world of others.
Relationships with emasculating women would be as unlikely to "turn" a guy gimp as to switch him to gay. I've been married twice, once for 30 years and now again for 11.
Women are mysterious creatures, and when you're growing up and getting your hormones, they are pretty much all you think about.